It's Not You, It's Me.

Bachelor Party/Vacation

2012-01-26T15:58:00.000-08:00

Off to San Juan (Puerto Rico. Hooohhhh!) this weekend for a bachelor party. Everyone who's not going and the bride's mother think we're all going to act like a bunch of wild hyenas, but they have no idea what they're talking about. This isn't how this stuff works. Not anymore. Save that stuff for Zach Galifianakis and the movies: for has-beens like us, these things have gotten progressively tamer and tamer as we've packed on the age. After the first few drinks, it's nap time. Or a quick call to the wife or the girlfriend. Maybe even check some work emails.

Sad? Maybe. Reality? Absolutely.

There's also another reality: the healing factor just isn't working like it once used to. At this stage of our lives, we all need one like Wolverine (or some other mutant who refuses to perish) in in order to go on a no holds-barred bender. You know, strong and potent enough to grow back an arm while allowing us to suck down some shots with no after-effects. Unfortunately, our healing factors now can't even replace a receding hairline.

The purpose of this trip is to kick back, get away from the tri-state weather (and Giants' fans), and celebrate "the beginning of the end" for a good ol' pal who is weeks away from saying "I do."

Before heading off, I'd like to leave you with this video of DJ Cat doin' dubstep. Don't ever say I don't love you guys. To be honest, I didn't want to laugh at another cat video on youtube. I'm sick of'em.

But damn it, I did.

Regardless, talk to you guys next week.

Wish you were here.

Sh!t I've Lost on Ebay Pt.1

2012-01-22T22:30:00.000-08:00

At a certain point, we all get outbid in life. Whether it's for a cab, a house, or a baby up for adoption. Or maybe a kidney? A Picasso? One of my first memories of being outbid was for a kickball game on the playground: we missed out on a chance to get a real baller when we were picking teams, and this kid was able to kick like a mule even before the steroid era. Needless to say, once the game began we were thrashed like General Custer at his Last Stand. That ugly taste has continued to linger in my mouth.

To play along with this theme of unfairness, I'll be periodically posting some things I've been outbid on through ebay. Mostly to vent, but also to show you readers (or reader, if there's only one of you that actually come here) some of the useless drivel I have tended to want over the years. Some of them are actually collectible enough to make sense and do have value, but others are as useful as the image of God on burnt toast. But then again, at least you can always eat the toast.

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A few weeks ago, I lost out on an authentic 1951 photo of Sugar Ray Robinson and Jake Lamotta from their sixth and final meeting (when prize fighters actually fought each other), also known as the "St. Valentine's Massacre" due to the severe, bloody beatdown Robinson gave Lamotta on Valentine's Day (depicted in Scorsese's Raging Bull).

I'm a bit of a boxing freak, and especially enjoy the historical aspects of the sport: from the literature, the written accounts, and actual film footage. Black and white footage for this particular fight exists, and it's a real beauty: Robinson was an offensive juggernaut who could triple his hooks and smash a right to the head or the body in fluid combinations, while moving around like a tap dancer. And the scary part was Lamotta could take these shots. He had a big head like Newt Gingrich, and his skull was a like melon.

Vintage photos of these two fighting each other are generally scarce and quite in demand, and can fetch a pretty penny depending on the fight, the picture sequence, and its overall condition. The bid started at $9.99 which was nice, so it was definitely worth it to roll the dice. So I placed my bid which wasn't too high, hoped for the best, and continued to watch the auction from afar. If I won, cool. If I lost, at least I didn't overpay for it and left myself some good bourbon money. Either way you'd look at it, I would win-which is the best way to go in a stupid, minor auction on ebay.

So it ended up like this:

Well, I was somewhat expecting to be outbid, but not like this and certainly not by this amount. But on ebay, all it takes is for two to tango for the price to skyrocket, so... although I really did covet the photo, maybe better luck next time? I just allocated my resources into something else.

Always have a Plan B.

Until the next outbid auction, cheerio.

"Koss"

2012-01-17T22:22:00.000-08:00

For me, a kick-ass soloist and a kick-ass writer have some things in common: they both need to be great storytellers using style, dynamics, phrasing, tone and any other Jedi mind-trick that keeps you coming back for more. A good one can really take you on that pure, magic carpet ride and leave you hangin' on the edge of your seat.

When an instrument is in the right, talented hands, it can create solos where you get LOST - kinda like a book...or even a Kindle for you digitally savvy folks.

Paul with a Les Paul!

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A six-string storyteller who's lately been making the rounds on my Spotify playlist is Paul Kossoff, the late guitarist for Free. He's not as celebrated as his British blues-rock contemporaries, which is rather unfortunate: although he was just as riveting and could play with the best of the lot, perhaps he wasn't quite as tasteful as Eric Clapton, or versatile as Jeff Beck.

And despite their musical muscle, Free was never able to scale the heights of, say, Led Zeppelin due to personnel problems which stunted their growth - mostly caused by Kossoff himself: he was self-destructive, unreliable and riddled with drug addiction and doubt. His behavior resulted in numerous breakups for the band, and ultimately prevented them from ideally following up on their 1970 smash hit of "All Right Now."

By 1976, he was already dead at the age of 25. Kossoff had a somewhat self-loathing aspect to his personality: like a troubled childhood friend who was a great kid, but also a sinking Titanic. A likable, ticking time-bomb everyone rooted for - but once everyone heard the news, nobody flinches because they can see the inevitable.

---------------------------------------------

But man, creativity works in mysterious ways - because for all of Kossoff's faults, for all of his shortcomings, he was truly GIFTED with a caps lock: with that tone, and that VIBRATO (2:25 mark-cranks up the volume knob!). I've listened to the blues-rock/hard-rock genre for years, and nobody's quite mastered this measured, feral attack before or since - his playing is primitive, untamed stuff. And I mean that in a great way.

If Clapton plays like he's making love, Kossoff plays like a crazy one-night-stand.

It's frenetic, reckless and lacking in any elegance or taste. And it's friggin' beautiful.

An awesome story.

We All Make Mistakes

2012-01-17T09:08:00.000-08:00

I don't want to stereotype or anything, but Mike doesn't look like the "type."

I Want to Be A Macho Man

2012-01-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder what it'd look like if dragons were replaced with the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of the World- "Macho Man" Randy Savage? Oh yeaaahh!

Of course not, me neither.

Not because I think it's ridiculous or anything - after all, we live in an era where videos of kittens get millions of hits - but putting a dragon and the Macho Man together... that kind of thought process of awesome-sauce never crossed my mind.

Who needs the Mayan calender to predict our final fate when you have the Macho Man?

This is how easily-swayed-and-gullible I can be. After watching this video (which is the BEST thing I've seen all year-granted we're only nine days in), I ordered this shirt.

A sound investment.

If you play Skyrim, go ransack a village. Plunder their treasures. Make'em scream and spawn the Dark Ages with ring entrances and flying elbows: the Macho Man dragon can be yours by downloading it from here.

You can run...

...but hide? Yeaaah!

Make It Magic

2012-01-03T22:32:00.000-08:00

Ms. Stellhorn, my third grade teacher, read us James and the Giant Peach nearly thirty years ago.

I came across this a few months ago:

I never did get to say this: thank you, Ms. Stellhorn.

End of the Fantasy Line

2012-01-02T17:13:00.000-08:00

To everything there is a season, and with each Autumn comes the changing of the leaves, the harvest and the National Football League.

Fortunately for me and for those who still tolerate my "charm," fantasy football will no longer be a part of my life next fall in 2012. After nearly twenty years, it's finally time to put the fantasy football crack-pipe down. A part of me just cried - not from regret, but from a significant feeling of liberation: this is my Andy Dufresne moment, where I swim to freedom through miles of Shawshank sh!t.

Excuse me, as I wipe away the tears from my eyes.

Freed From Fantasy Football At Last!

Most of my friends think it's just a phase. "He'll be back before kickoff," they say. Forget it. This is totally different. This isn't like the time I went emo, or vowed to learn the guitar, or dressed like Brandon Lee from The Crow.

This is final. I'm done.

For those who aren't familiar with fantasy football - or just plain don't get it - I envy you. You could care less if touchdown passes count as six points compared to four, or if each pass reception should count as a point compared to none at all.

At the end of the day, you realize it's all just a stupid, silly game amongst good friends.

But during NFL Sundays, you've probably witnessed a family member or a loved one turn into Mr. Hyde. At 1:00 o'clock PM, they have that Thriller moment, where they turn into a total ranging monster (without the cool choreography or the cool red jacket).

These people from the peanut gallery couldn't throw a spiral with a Nerf football...yet still possess the audacity to call out the likes of a Peyton Manning - the Super Bowl champion and NFL MVP - and accuse him of costing them "their entire season."

Folks, he only had a severe NECK INJURY.What are you, a bunch of savages? Oh, that's right. You kind of are.

La La, La, La, La, Laaaa

At least most sports fans who carry themselves with a shred of dignity root for real teams, not imaginary ones. Think about it for a sec. This "team" fantasy owners supposedly own and control are as real as unicorns. Or Papa Smurf. Next time they "win" a championship, remind them that it's as credible as a horse with horns who has wings. Or a tiny old man with blue skin, who happens to wear a red hat with matching tights.

It used to be such a simple game, before things got corporate, and the peanut gallery got overcrowded. Before the web sites, the "experts" and the magazines. Before it got so overbearingly serious.

So good-bye fantasy football. It was fun while it lasted I guess (nearly two decades), but it's getting to be like a wet fart that must pass.

Any given Sundays should be fun. They should be normal. And hopefully quitting this game will allow me to actually watch the game again, which I haven't done in what seems like... well I'll be damned... nearly twenty years.

Calvin and Hobbes

2011-12-27T16:59:00.000-08:00

Newspapers are dying a slow and digital death, but as a kid I used to always check them out - not because I had any aspirations of being well informed or anything, but moreso for the comics section to follow Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes. As an immigrant kid fresh off the plane and learning the American ropes, Calvin's dysfunctional imagination filled with dinosaurs, spaceships and his beloved anthropomorphic Tiger had the appeal the other strips such as The Family Circus lacked.

Billy, do you ever wonder why nobody wants
to play with you on the playground?

No offense to Mr. Bill Keane. I don't mean any disrespect and I know his work is iconic. But even as a Japanese first-grader who barely knew the alphabet, I found little Billy's family (from the parents right down to their dog) to be one, LAME family. The biggest bunch of goody two-shoes' stiffs to collectively live under one roof...yet the strip is still in syndication and going strong (since 1960)! Haters like me are gonna hate.

On the other hand, Bill Watterson ended his syndication in 1995, and has been largely a recluse since his retirement (he was in advertising before Calvin and Hobbes!). But you really have to credit people when they leave at the right time and know when to bow out: not everyone is capable of doing it (especially with their integrity intact), and too many fall under the trap of sticking around a bit too long.

Sundays were always a great treat because you got the enlarged format in FULL-COLOR, and the below is one of my personal favorites where Calvin and Susie (his neighbor/arch-enemy/probably crush) play house - or try to play anyway. Susie should get a prenup.

I've got some of the Calvin and Hobbes paperbacks, and still skim through them whenever I get the chance. It's inspiring, funny and incredibly SMART.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-25T15:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Kwanzaa!

Hope all of you get to spend some quality time with family and friends during the break, and receive gifts that won't require receipts.

A Coach, Calculus and a Snickers Bar

2011-12-22T00:11:00.000-08:00

In light of recent events which involve my alma mater - in which nine kids from the football team allegedly jumped two kids from a neighboring school - and my old coach, I felt inclined to share this story. It's the kind of story that won't make the papers, the web sites or public forums.

But before I do, I'd like to clarify some things. Mind you, I have no dog in this fight, regardless of being an ex-player that's walked through the halls of Wayne Hills High School. I don't know any of the kids that were involved from Adam, and personally, I don't think they should've played anyway: not because I believe every one of them are as guilty as OJ, but because they put the entire team in jeopardy for whatever they did or didn't do. Can't do that man.

Just. Walk. Away.

Regardless, I know that Coach has the best interest at heart for those nine numbnuts, and anyone who thinks he's letting those kids go scot-free has no idea what they're talking about. As an ex-numbnut from the Class of 94', I experienced it firsthand - this man throws down the discipline like thunder bolts and lightning - and we had our fair share of brain farts mixed with herculean stupidity. For every indiscretion (and there were many) we were punished and sent to the gallows.

The Numbnuts of 94'

But as someone who's been on the receiving end of his wrath of heavy metal thunder, I also know he'll stand with you through thick and thin and offer help and guidance whenever it's needed - whether it's a death in the family or by introducing you to a college recruiter. He's not blindly bound to the players. He's bound to them through empathy and loyalty. It's the reason why so many of the ex-players come back and continue to support him.

Unfortunately, when you're in high school stupidity reigns supreme over common sense, and parents can't be with us 24/7. It helps to have someone looking over your shoulder outside of home, and none of us could've asked for a better person to do that for us than ol' Coach.

_____________________________

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

It was during the fall of 1993, long before there were cell phones, Facebook and the Kardashians. Wayne Hills wasn't quite the perennial North Jersey powerhouse back then (first State title didn't happen until 2002!). NJ Property taxes were still somewhat acceptable, people thought beepers were cool and Cinemax (Skinemax) was still a relevant form of entertainment.

We were midway through our season, and everyday from Monday through Friday was practice, practice, practice until it was pitch black outside. The bell would ring at 2:20PM, and we were expected to be on the field in full pads by 2:30PM or so (I don't remember the exact time, but it was something ridiculous). Coach ran a tight schedule but there was one loop hole that was completely outside his jurisdiction: getting extra help for class.

Matt, Rob and I could've used the Man in the Yellow Hat.

Our intentions were honest and sincere, at least for the most part. There were three of us - Matt, Rob and I - that were in Calculus II together, and we were a complete lost cause on one of the upcoming tests dealing with derivatives or something (in hindsight, this stuff was as useful as Canadian cash). We requested for some extra help after school and let Coach know about it, much to his chagrin.

What we didn't know was, by the time we got out of extra help it was already around 3:05PM. That meant we would be hitting the field between 3:00PM- 3:30PM in the name of education. Boo yah!

So for the next few days, we continued to take advantage of our situation...er... education by going in for help. And we would let Coach know about it each and every time, much to his chagrin. What did we do with the extra time? I don't know what Matt and Rob did, but I do remember enjoying a Snickers bar and savoring every bite after a healthy dose of derivatives.

_____________________________

But on one particular day, Coach happened to spot me savoring a Snickers by my locker. Shit. Why he wasn't on the field, I have no idea. I looked over at the wall clock. 3:00PM. Luckily, I had my Calc text book with me. Stay calm, numbnuts. He signaled for me to come over, so off I went with the enthusiasm of a funeral march.

Coach: "Why aren't you at practice?"
Me: "Ah...gettin' some extra help, Coach. Calculus again."

My words were warbling from the milk chocolate, roasted peanuts and hearty caramel. I showed him the text book which would give me an alibi. He looked over and raised an eyebrow. Curiosity or skepticism? Maybe it's pity? Crap, does he know? This wasn't looking good. And dammit, where the hell is Matt and Rob? If I go down, I'm taking them with me. I refuse to be punished alone.

He finally broke the silence and said:

"I have no idea what the hell you're learning. But God Dammit, you guys better become God Damn rocket scientists or I'll be the one launching your asses to the moon."

After he left to head for practice, I burst into laughter and nearly choked on my Snickers, while chunks of it flew right up my nose.

One Song, Two Takes

2011-12-13T23:56:00.000-08:00

Some people I know are expecting. And lately, whenever I hear this iddy-biddy, reason-to-be-giddy kind of news, I keep thinking back to this little number:

It's got some of the most considerate words (IMHO) that's been said from one person to another, and I don't think words like these are possible if you don't have kids.

There's an alternate version which I used to prefer, but it doesn't resonate anymore and has lost much of its luster, especially when friends are currently undergoing the transition from husband-and-wife to mother-and-father. The two takes of "Forever Young" are pretty telling because it's the same singer singing the same song, but to an entirely DIFFERENT execution and audience.

In the past few years, I've seen many friends post pictures of their newborns on Facebook. I've seen them change frighteningly-foul diapers. Give baths. I've seen them pick their kids up, and drop them off whether it's at karate or school. I've seen them worry sick when they were sick, and stay with them at night when there were monsters in the closet. It's the most important job in the world.

When I go to visit them, it's the wild wild west whenever I see their little spawns bouncing around. It cracks me up when I ask them how old they are, and they answer by holding their fingers up, or when mom/dad ask them to pronounce my name (Nobuyuki Wakabayashi), and then ask them to spell it (poor kid).

So to those that are expecting or looking to start a family, all the best to you in these up and coming months. Be thinkin' about ya, and playin' this particular number with your Forever Young's in mind.

Cable TV Artifact

2011-12-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

I've had some things to blog/post that's been put off due to one of life's necessary evils: moving. We only moved a total distance of 1.3 miles in Brooklyn to our new place, but it still felt like the distance of the Oregon Trail.

Anyway, as I catch up to normalcy again, here's a little something-something that I've been meaning to share for a while. Looking back, did these things SUCK or what? So inconvenient, and as the youngest of three brothers, I was frequently the one forced into the position of the "human remote control."

If you DON'T know what this is, you were probably born with a HDTV and an iPhone in your hand. We could never be Facebook friends.

Pee Wee Strikes Back

2011-10-28T15:26:00.000-07:00

Have a great weekend everyone, and hope you've got yourselves a kick-ass costume. Let's start it off on a good foot with this little gem from a galaxy far, far away. Just two gargantuan heavyweights pointing at their next victim:

Did George Lucas nix this EPIC guest appearance?

How to Redeem Yourself

2011-10-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

Ice Cube was one of the first "lyrical gangstas" I came across back in the day, from the groundbreaking NWA to his critically acclaimed work as a solo artist. But lately, I haven't seen him on anything except these.

I'm not saying he's gotten soft, but his "street cred" has definitely taken a hit in my honest opinion. But just when I was about to write him off...he comes roaring back and redeems himself by becoming a viral sensation with the jpeg below:

Homer

2011-10-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

Just a quick break from the daily grind to wish a good pal of mine a belated Happy Birthday.

Although my folks denied all of my pleas to own a dog as a kid (like most parents do), Homer happened to enter the family by chance and total luck when we got him as a gift. I guess it's pretty tough for parents to say "no" to a two month old pup, when the first thing he does when entering your house is to take a leak on the kitchen floor (guess who cleaned it up?).

He totally changed the dynamics of the household when we took him in, and he greeted me each and every time I came home for 13 years.

In hindsight, our time together was way too short (maybe not in dog years), but we lived real wide dammit.

Happy birthday, pal. You are certainly missed. I think I'd give a kidney to have that one last walk with you. Wherever you are, long may you run.

A Reluctant Honor

2011-10-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

I've got a friend - a good friend - who is extremely unique.

He's quite the All-American guy. Like, literally. He was a Parade All-American for football when we were in high school together. It's a pretty big deal. The likes of Peyton Manning kind of big (selected that same year).

But that's not what makes him unique. Not exactly.

Always a gentle giant from the early get-go (he's 6'5", 300+lbs.), his teenage years were littered with awkward, clumsy steps: from the clothes that he wore, to the girls that he dated. His growing pains were obvious, and they kept getting bigger and bigger like the size of his behemoth shoes. But he finally found an outlet, where being humongous wasn't a curse but the ultimate gift.

Football brought him the kind of "normalcy" he always wanted. He was allowed to use his size, wrapping his big ol' paws around those that were much smaller and throwing them around like bags of mulch. He excelled on the field - it brought him joy, acclaim and attention. But most of all it brought him acceptance: that was the name of HIS game, which largely eluded him up to that point. After the season, he became an All-American.

But then we graduated. He went onto play at a Division I school on a full scholarship. Expectations weren't met, and long story short, things didn't pan out. The realities of the NCAA machine might've been simply too much for this gentle giant and college football wounded him, leaving him visibly shaken. Once he came home, he locked up his accomplishments, memories and awards, and stashed them away like ancient artifacts that were to never be found.

For nearly 12 years, he's been the reluctant All-American that's kept his football far, far away. But that part of his life shouldn't just sit in a dark room, collecting dust. And as I watch him and his lovely fiancee prepare for their upcoming wedding, I have hopes for him that the day will come when he finally learns to embrace his storied past. That he gets to tell his kids, and anyone else who is willing to listen that he had an All-American career, filled with various highs and various lows. And through it all, it was always a pretty big deal.

Crowded House

2011-09-26T01:32:00.000-07:00

I went home this past weekend because my older brother, a successful snob-of-a lawyer out of Tokyo, got some time off and was staying with my folks for a few days. Once everyone moves out of the house, those moments when you have the entire family under one roof gets scarce, especially when you have siblings (I have two) living overseas. Most Thanksgivings and Christmas usually consist of my parents, myself and our two mutts - with the occasional friends, neighbors and/or girlfriend (who turn into ex's) thrown into the mix.

My mother gets delighted when we come back, and overdoes everything: overcooking ridiculous amounts of food, taking gazillions of pictures of "everyone together,"and offering motherly "advice" (are you seeing someone? what are you eating?) that my brothers and I welcome at first due to nostalgic reasons and love, but eventually scorn because it simply becomes unbearable. Oh, my brothers and I get that she is happy to see her sons. All grown up. Out in the real world. But what's with all the questions? The interrogating? And no, the girl I'm seeing is not "kind of bitchy."

As for my father, he doesn't ask that many questions unless it's something that deals with electronics and the world wide web. These Q and A sessions between father and son tend to be extremely difficult - he once asked what a "Skype" was, what it does and how this particular "black magic" worked. He eventually lost patience, stormed out of the room and called Skype a "piece of sh!t." (translated from Japanese)

And finally there's my visiting brother. Initially, you're glad to see him and everything goes great. You talk, drink a few beers, watch the game... you know, act like typical brothers who haven't seen each other in a while. But then he starts "borrowing" stuff. Your favorite sweatshirt. Your car. All without asking, throwing you and your daily rhythm completely off. He leaves a destructive path in the bathroom, without cleaning any of it (I'm big bro, and you're little bro mentality). And the icing on the cake? He has formed various opinions concerning the world that doesn't gel at all with your own. He's become an opinionated snob (and he feels the same way about you).

This begs the question: how did I live with these people - my family for cryin' out loud - for all these years without going postal? When we get together now, nobody gives the other any space to breathe - and it's got nothing to do with the size of the house. Everybody's in everyone's friggin' business. Why are my loved ones so annoying?

That's when it hit me: we're not that same family anymore. The one from yesteryear that used to eat at the same dinner table. The one that used to ride in the same car. The one that used to watch the same movies and same TV shows. The one that used to live under the same roof. This should be obvious, right? But it took me a while to reach this conclusion.

Which make these scarce gatherings bittersweet in so many ways. It made me laugh thinking about my family's dynamics from back in the day, and how it all sort of...worked out. We're all changing. We're older, wiser and better. We're supposed to annoy the hell out of each other because that's what people who care about each other do. Especially now that we're all living apart.

All of us need a healthy dose of family - but be careful on the dosage: even too much of a good thing can end up killing you.

Welcoming Back 'Modern Family'

2011-09-23T23:49:00.000-07:00

A new season is upon us, and one of my favorite characters from this show is Gloria, played by Sophia Vergara. My family tends to be on the docile side of things (think tea ceremony with the mute button on), and I would welcome an aunt/sister-in-law (who am I kidding? How about my wife?) like her that would liven up the family events with a jolt of Columbian charisma.

The potential Japanese/Columbian stereotypes it'd generate from the neighbors would be off the hook!

The Most Lifelike Dead Animals Around, PERIOD

2011-09-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

This is the first taxidermy ad I've ever seen. And the greatest.

Let's face it fellow taxidermists (talk about words you never use), how are you going to top this? From now on, you know who's going to be mounting my dead woolly mammoths?

Chuck Testa!

When Science Meets Auto-Tune

2011-09-08T00:03:00.000-07:00

I despise auto-tune, but thanks to this video, I can finally see how it may possibly contribute to society.

It's funny how auto-tune works for Morgan Freeman and Richard Feynman. They sound like digital mystics, holding all the secrets of this world that are waiting to be discovered by the scientists of tomorrow.

Even for someone like myself who never excelled in the sciences, who never deciphered the periodic chart except with blank stares of confusion and duh, this was catchy. And more importantly, fun.

I think that, aside from an obvious lack of talent, the lack of a fun factor was always at the root of my average grades in chemistry, earth science and physics during school. Not pointing any fingers here (you have failed me, Wayne, NJ, Board of Ed!). Just going from my own personal experiences.

The art of discovery, of exploration, is certainly a challenge, but it could always be blended in with bliss.

With that said, good luck to all you future scientists on your first week of school. May it be filled with lots of A's (much to your parent's delight), and plenty of joy.

Ideal Places to Brainstorm

2011-08-27T01:01:00.000-07:00

I was recently brainstorming with a friend at a local coffeeshop. After overspending on what seemed like an average cup of coffee (they make it seem like the beans come from some mystical mountain in The Shire), he wanted to take our discussion to the outside patio because "it was nice out."

"Nice out" lasted for approximately ten minutes or so, until the sun decided to unleash its solar fury. Its rays were beating me down like a schoolyard bully. My ass and elbows were sticking to the furniture, and the occasional breeze kept scattering my notes like confetti. But my friend looked worse: his skin began to pale, with beads of sweat pouring down from his receding hairline. His pores were the size of quarters, and his train of thought kept nodding out.

It was too late to go back inside. All the seats were occupied by customers that were enjoying the marvels of air conditioning.

Brainstorm, interrupted.

Which got us thinking... finding good places to brainstorm isn't difficult-but finding an ideal place is. Where would some of them be?

We narrowed down our locations to four: (thanks to Robert Luciani for leading us to the libraries-amazing):

1)-Rijksmuseum Reading Room-Amsterdam
This is how I envisioned the Cemetery of Forgotten Books from the book The Shadow of the Wind. The towering walls filled with rare books are impenetrable to any outside distraction. You could literally hide in a place like this. Need to talk to me? Find me first. I'm brainstorming somewhere in there.

2)-Trinity College Library-Dublin, Ireland
This library is something right out of Harry Potter. Look at ALL that wood-Pledge must make a killing here. Who has time for Facebook, twitter or text messages in a mystical place like this? The interior is intimidating yet inspiring, all at once. After we brainstorm a few hundred ideas, we'll go grab some Guinness at the nearest pub.

3)-Curia Julia-Rome, Italy
This was where the Roman Senate would hold their discussions and debate. I'm sure many of the Senators were talking about what an ambitious tyrant (A-hole) Caesar was in this very room. This place made history. This place got things done. You want a conspiracy? Great idea. Let's make it sometime in March. After we finish some marker comps.

4)-The Hall of Justice-Metropolis
The headquarters of the Super Friends. This is pretty self-explanatory. The Hall gives us access to super-heroes and their powers, which are now at our creative disposal. If you can't get good ideas here, you shouldn't be in advertising.

At next year's Cannes, would you rather fly first class...or in Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet? Exactly.

Cash or Check? Obviously Check

2011-08-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

"Hunter... are you sure you didn't make a mistake?"

"You think I should make it three?"

When you're that nuts, Hunter Thompson the-man-himself nuts, it's not entirely out of the question that he was really intending to blow two million dollars right up his nose. And I guess that's the best part: we have no idea if he was actually kidding or not.

If I were a betting man, I'd lean towards the "Gonzo wants his narcotics in the worst possible way" side of the fence.

Depending on the person and their level of sanity (or insanity), even something as boring as a personal check becomes a fascinating relic for the ages.

Andy Levy's "Apology" to Chris Brown

2011-08-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm a sucker for some humor on twitter, but didn't see this one coming from my tweetdeck. It's a good'un.

Backstory: Fox News's Andy Levy RT'ed a tweet from Chris Brown with a fitting, wise ass comment.

As you may or may not know, Chris Brown assaulted his ex-girlfriend Rhianna a few years ago, and pled guilty to a charge of felony. The above twitter exchange led to some pleasantries of words, so Andy Levy decided to take the "high road" and offer an apology to Chris Brown - which can be seen as below:

Nice. The delivery was magnificent.

You would think Chris Brown and his people would re-think their twittering strategy. Hell, how about abandoning it all together? Concentrate solely on music. Learn how to control yourself from throwing chairs. Take a lesson in manners.

And maybe it's just me, but given his history, he should stay far, far away from horsemaning.

Planking on a sexy lady? Seriously? If I had a daughter, I wouldn't want this guy anywhere NEAR her. Go plank on a pool of piranhas.

Better yet, here's a novel concept: how about making a concerted effort in becoming a better person? Then he might not have the Andy Levy's of the world coming down on him over a tweet.

Yatta!

2011-05-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

The internet is flooded with viral pet videos that collect your co-workers into a synchronized "awwwwww" - as they surround your screen and insist that you "watch it NOW."

Saving a viral video for later, is simply unacceptable in our society.

So here we've got one that has a young beagle training to catch a ball with her paws.

AWWWWWW...

Anyway, the reason why this one caught my attention was that the owner uses the word "yatta" each time she catches the ball. "Yatta" basically means "yes" in Japanese, but with an emphasis on excitement (imagine Marv Albert saying "yessssss" after a three-point shot, or you saying it if a Victoria's Secret model agrees to go out with you).

I haven't heard, or used that word in YEARS. My head is always thinking in English, and vocab words such as this just get lost when you're not speaking Japanese all the time. However, I'd love to use it again when the situation calls for it, for no other reason than just to confuse my friends.

But I should've really used "yatta" many years ago... when my dogs were still young pups. Now that they're adults, they won't even come inside when I call them by their names.

When Milk Jugs Fall in Love

2011-05-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

A Love Story… In Milk from Catsnake on Vimeo.

This short from Friends of the Earth is trying to get more people to recycle. I really like the way they brought out the emotions the jugs had for each other (does that sound as odd as I think it does?).

This is a good example on giving an inanimate object a personality.

Owls Always Look Pissed

2011-05-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

Don't they?

Common Man

2011-03-08T18:44:00.000-08:00

The title's misleading. On purpose.

It's not about the everyday man, or a "Joe the Plumber" kind of reference (remember him?).

It's about spelling. Horrendous spelling.

A high school friend of mine spelled "come on man" as... "common man."

That is all.

A Letter Lost In Translation

2011-03-08T16:31:00.000-08:00

Long ago, someone once told me when we're not working/writing, we should always be reading something on the side.

Let your curiosity get the best of you.
Girlfriends, not so much.

Heeding his advice, it's become a habit: the reading, that is. We should always be on the lookout for anything to get the dormant soul's lazy ass up and running and doing those extra sets of sit ups: whether it's through comedy and laughter, history and current events, fiction and non-fiction... anything that has a healthy dose of emotional content, which is usually at the center of anything good.

So in doing this, I came across a particular letter by chance when I trekked on over to Google Japan to brush up on my Japanese (which needs work). It was a love letter - eloquently phrased, with powerful imagery; beautifully written for someone so young. Mature, polite and packed with words of comfort and hope, but along with HEAVY resignation.

This letter came from the hands of someone who was very much alive, but was ordered to die.

Second Lieutenant Toshio Anazawa

It was written by a twenty-three year old kamikaze pilot, Toshio Anazawa, to his fiancée Chieko during the final stages of World War II. Allied forces were continuing to advance towards mainland Japan, and a mass invasion seemed imminent if Okinawa (matter of time) fell. To prevent an invasion at all costs, the Kamikaze attacks reached their peak during April and June of 1945 during the Battle of Okinawa, with waves of planes making hundreds of attacks on US warships. Anazawa was one of them.

I'm sure by now most people know what a kamikaze was. Please note I'm not here to argue the rights or wrongs of World War past. I'm not here to take sides, or blame people on any given country on the who-did-what and what-did-who semantics. You can do your own research and come up with your own conclusions.

I just wanted to bring this letter to light for the blog - it's not a fanatical "banzai, hail to our emperor" kind of document (actually, none of the kamikaze letters are from what I've seen). Anazawa, and many of those in similar situations were highly educated, complex men, and it shows in their writing. For example, Anazawa was an art student before volunteering for the military, and regretted not seeing Raphael's Mother and Child. They're young, scared as sh!t, and riddled with doubt on why they have to die while their superiors get to live. They're trying to figure out what to say to their loved ones while coming to grips with the prospects of death.

I can't believe people had to live like this.

Anazawa's last words to his fiancée were no different, and judging by the letter, he must've given it endless amounts of thought. They're apologetic, comforting and grateful, but also a bit forceful at first: forget about me and MOVE ON with your life. But midway through, the cracks begin to show and his emotions begin to pour out.

His fiancee.

Being bilingual, my natural inclination was to translate the letter into English (my first language), but I ran into some problems. First, as a language Japanese uses fewer words than English in a given sentence, and getting a point across gets long. To duplicate any semblance of elegance and its spirit can get difficult. It's why haikus in English sound...like bad memes rather than poetry, no matter how well it's translated. The same goes for captions in manga.

Second, certain words and phrases shouldn't be translated literally because the sentence structure and/or analogy which works in Japanese could spell disaster in English. It can lose the meaning, the rhythm and ultimately the reader.

So essentially, what was once extremely moving and poetic in one language... can turn into a clunky, meandering mess of "I don't quite understand what he was trying to say" in another when it's in the wrong hands (mine).

A lesson learned, and an interesting insight into to how languages work and don't work. Just have to practice, practice, practice.

Here are some of the translated passages:

"Together, the two of us tried our best to defy the odds, but it's ultimately going to end without us exchanging our vows...and although our hearts were filled with so much hope, a part of me that feared "the time will come" has now come to pass..."

"...as a man who was engaged to you... as a man who is about to perish...there are a few things I would like to say.

There is nothing I want more, than for you to be happy.

You are to not live in the past. You are to have the courage to forget the past, and find a new purpose and meaning in your life. You are to live from moment to moment, in your given reality.

I (Anazawa) no longer exist in that reality."

My translations are still missing *something*, and quite frankly, it got really frustrating (over 14 revisions). Not doing it any justice.

But I think I got the last part of his letter for the most part, which gets right to the heart of the matter:

I want to see you.

Talk to you.

BADLY (it's more along the lines of uncontrollably).

His wishes were to never come true.

The picture on the left is actually Lieutenant Anazawa when he took off for the seas of Okinawa on April 12, 1945. His fiancée received his letter four days later.

Four months later when the Japanese surrendered, World War II was over.

Lionel's Missing

2011-03-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

Burst out laughing when I saw this.

Also reminded me on how WEIRD the video was with clay bust Lionel:

A Benefit for a Roast Master

2011-02-21T17:38:00.000-08:00

Greg Giraldo, a stand-up comic and one of Comedy Central's main roasters, tragically passed away on September 25, 2010 from an overdose of prescription medication.

The news hurt a bit more than say, Carlin's (even in death, he would still probably tell us to go F*CK ourselves), or Pryor's (who was a tad ahead of my time) because it felt like I was getting to witness Giraldo evolving into a big time act that would finally be accepted into the mainstream. The ongoing joke about him was, nobody knew who he was outside of the Comedy Central Roasts: obviously, that's bullsh!t. But in hindsight, I really doubt he knew how much he was loved by us all.

But what makes this even more tragic, is that there are now three little boys without a father.

When tragedy strikes the comedy world, fellow comedians respond by doing what they do best: making us friggin' gutbust laugh. A friend & I recently went to the Greg Giraldo Benefit Show held at the Beacon Theatre. This charity event had one hell of an all star line up: Lewis Black, Colin Quinn, Dave Attell, Jim Norton, Jerry Seinfeld and a slew of other special guests. All the proceeds went to his family, and it was announced during the show that his wife was launching a new charity in his name to support the children of addiction (Giraldo has been on/off with problems for years).

An incredible night, and there were clearly a few things that stuck out:

1)-Jerry Seinfeld is the funniest human being on the planet. Hell, let's include an entire galaxy. He CRUSHED the entire show, and was clearly the best out of the entire line up. I think some of us (like me) had completely brushed him off, and forgotten how funny this guy was outside of "Seinfeld." Most people don't have a funny bone in their entire body. Not fair.

2)-When Giraldo's wife and their boys came out to thank us all for attending the show, most of us were shocked at how YOUNG those kids were. You felt the entire theatre feeling the same way. A rare, somber moment from a night filled with laughter: and a real reminder on why we were all there in the first place.

3)-Comedy is such a wonderful enigma. It's the only time people expect you to laugh while you mourn. Have you ever seen people busting each other's balls at Strawberry Fields? Or talk about their sex life during a remembrance of Princess Di? Of course not. Comedy forces people to laugh during some of our darkest hours, and there's something uniquely amazing about that: when the inappropriate IS appropriate, so we can all move on.

The Fog of Opinion

2011-01-31T18:46:00.001-08:00

If you Wikipedia 'Robert McNamara', you'd find that his middle name was STRANGE.

Now that, is funny.

Robert McNamara, our former US Secretary of Defense, might be the most difficult person I've ever had to assess. I still don't know what to make of him, and still lack the confidence to do so - although I'm fairly certain I would've NEVER liked the man. But not liking someone doesn't equate to hating someone, and therein lies the challenge. His confidence, which crosses into sheer arrogance, is offset again and again, by his insurmountable inner doubt. It's the complexities such as these from a man who was actually there, that makes him so compelling.

In his 2003 documentary, The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara, Errol Morris pushes just the right buttons with the former Defense Secretary, provoking him into discussions about what it truly means to have power over life and death. He was a man who spoke in numbers - a statistician - that dealt with the overall tally of bombs, troops, and casualties. A man whose absolute distaste for war, was eventually overwhelmed by his sense of duty.

But he was not a tyrant - but a public servant, who was according to himself, "part of a mechanism."

The plain, matter-of-fact manner of his diction makes the hair stand on end, while the footage of bombs spiraling down into cities makes you shudder. But occasionally, Morris returns the favor by asking him questions that get too "private", forcing McNamara to abruptly shut down from digging deeper. This two-way street technique that Morris employed guaranteed that nobody left this documentary unscathed.

And just when we're ready to condemn the man for good, we're shown the impact Kennedy's assassination had on his psyche. Bobby had called, he says, telling him the President's been shot. His voice cracks. His eyes redden. He struggles to speak.

Ultimately, The Fog of War is a warning: if we want to survive, we must learn from the masters of war. But not all masters are willing to teach. McNamara tries. Awkwardly, but honestly as he can. And for that, we must be grateful... to a reluctant degree.

Whether his message was in vain remains to be seen - and he doesn't make it any easier due to the way he carries himself, which cannot be sympathized with. Given his past, there's great difficulty in taking advice from a man who falls short in offering apologies. But what he's asking for isn't forgiveness: it's our undivided attention.

"There's no learning curve with nuclear weapons."

I don't hate Robert McNamara.

I find him to be...strange.

Urinal Bonding

2011-01-30T02:27:00.000-08:00

When you fly, did you ever notice that the entire economy class gets to share two to four bathrooms? Sure you have. Restrooms in the sky are an unpleasant experience.

That's why if you've got a quick bladder such as yours truly, the odds are stacked up against you. You need to be prepared. Not all of us can go first class, and share two bathrooms between twelve lucky passengers.

So before/during a flight, I follow a few set of rules. First, I never hit the bars at airports (unless there's a flight delay that just can't be tolerated). Second, I stop by the restroom JUST as boarding begins (board with an empty tank). And third, when the flight attendant asks if I'd like a beverage, I immediately say NO, and look extremely irritated.

Once we land, I get off the plane, and calmly look for the nearest bathroom. It's all about finding your comfort zone - there are very few things in life that are as unsettling as a full bladder.

So on my most recent flight, I did what I always do. No bars. Hit the restroom just as boarding begins. Refuse any beverages. The plane lands. I get off, and head for the restroom.

There's a row of urinals, with three of them occupied. I take the one that's open, and just as when I was ready for relief, the guy to the right starts mumbling...

"I see you driving 'round town.... with the girl I love...."

Excuse me? Then Susan Boyle to the left starts SINGING.

"...and I'm like...Fuck You....oo, oo,ooo!"

Then the man in the middle.

"...I guess the change in my pocket.....wasn't enough... i'm like....Fuck you!"

Collectively, the three of them became Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Urinal singing Cee-Lo Green.

This went on for a few more lines. Wisely, I kept my mouth shout.

So what's to make of this? Initially, I thought it was the beginning of some kind of flash mob. A skit for Improv Everywhere. But it was just a bunch of guys singing at the urinals.

Do people not piss in peace anymore?

They shared a laugh, and eventually went their separate ways. They probably would've high-fived each other like a bunch of frat boys, but to my amusement, only one of them washed his hands.

Major Dick Winters

2011-01-29T23:11:00.000-08:00

Major Richard "Dick" Winters passed away on January 2nd, 2011. He was 92.

The commander of Easy Company, 101st Airborne Division, during WW II, his story has been heavily featured in numerous books, but most notably on the 2001 ten part HBO mini-series, Band of Brothers. I vividly remember following the series during its original run. It was right before the second week of September...

Some stories pull at the strings that you never knew existed. It forces you to look at your own reflection - right in the eyes - and ask: are you willing to do a job that has costs of no return? To risk yourself not making it all the way back, even though you make it home and you're still in one piece?

There's a sense of innate humility, a human "touch" if you will, in the way he handled himself that was evident from his recollections. War is hell, they say. Yet he made it through the gates, and carried his demons with grace, and with dignity.

A friend of mine called him a "pacifist"...and I couldn't agree with him more.

But I can't call Major Winters a "hero." He and his men would never allow it. So I'd like to call him a human being, in the purest sense of the word.

Curahee.

Ira Glass

2010-11-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

Ira Glass' two cents and change on storytelling. Thank you, youtube...for providing video content other than cats doing stupid sh!t.

Been getting stonewalled by the creative block, & his mention of failure being a part of success resonated pretty hard-right before I was about to resort to the bottle. Deep down, we probably know what he's talking about in some subconscious way, but it's like we literally need to hear it from the Glass' mouth just to set the record straight. Why is the obvious so elusive?

Go. Create. Embrace failure.

Repeat.

So let's FAIL in something. There's great comfort, in knowing this.

An Engaging, Interactive Billboard-No, Seriously

2010-10-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

This isn't entirely new (2009), but the execution was excellent-the fun factor outweighing the unhealthy, fast food, fat factor. When people are having this much fun, you did something right.

Now let's go get some Big Mac's, and super size the sh!t out of it.

There's a Bright Side to Every Road-Let Us Find It

2010-08-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

Shut up already. Just stop.

Just watch this, pass the tissues, & hug it out.

Sapporo Beer

2010-06-13T22:37:00.000-07:00

The production value ALONE is something to behold. The details pour out like the beer itself.

There's so much going on in this spot...where to begin? In what seems like an infinite number of Japanese cultural references, it'd be really helpful if they actually listed them on their web site or something.

The gigantic sumo wrestlers at the :35 mark...the fire breathing dragons at the :50 mark... all happening under one, large, Sapporo distillery roof. This is one strange trip that even The Grateful Dead never went on.

Bitch Hunter

2010-05-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

A guest appearance by Will Ferrell on 30 Rock. Anyone else craving for this show as a spinoff?

The Taiwanese Answer to Susan Boyle

2010-04-06T23:21:00.000-07:00

Just watch this thing-about a 1:10 in. Just ignore the tux, haircut, and the fact he chose a song from Whitney Houston.

Regardless of race, people always root for the underdog.

Let's Destroy Star Wars

2010-04-06T02:15:00.000-07:00

How do you destroy everyone's beloved intergalactic fantasy? The greatest sci-fi franchise ever created can be vulnerable, crippled, and maimed - from other than George Lucas' brilliant idea of producing the prequels.

Ben Folds Chat Roulette

2010-04-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

Ben Folds used chat roulette during a run of his shows-and created a unique, interactive experience in concert. It's an awesome way for an artist to use social media in this context, & to let the people that aren't at the show, in on the show.

South Park vs. Gingers

2010-03-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

Here's something you should never do: confessions on youtube, or baring your soul anywhere online. Keep it between your priest, shrink, and action figures.

But never do it online, or Trey Parker and Matt Stone will use it as a source of their creative FUEL.

Watching this unravel is surreal.

And Ginger Kid responds-this can get dangerous for our red haired friend, because we already know South Park HAS issues.

Mother's Milk

2010-02-26T15:41:00.000-08:00

Saw this in public the other day, & didn't know what to make of it. But a child needs his lunch, & the little guy was wailing like a banshee... until he laid his eyes on the nipple.

Bon appetit.

Some people think it's out of line. I say, let it be. We all get hungry. The only difference is, some of us get a sandwich.

PUMA-Futbol Cover of Savage Garden

2010-02-18T15:32:00.000-08:00

In this frighteningly comical spot, we have a bunch of Tottenham futbol fans in a pub covering Savage Garden. A nice Valentine's Day campaign from Puma, where an important match happened to coincide on the Holiday of Love.

Gotta say the futbol ads I've seen DESTROY the football ads-and this is coming from a guy that enjoys his Monday Night Football. Let's step it up, NFL.

Old Spice body Wash TV Spots

2010-02-17T13:17:00.001-08:00

This is Wieden+Kennedy's recent Old Spice Body Wash spot. A nice comeback after the "residue" campaign.

Not really new anymore (been on since the Super Bowl), but the copy's got tone, rhythm, and a story that doesn't make all that much sense.

Smiling Dog

2010-02-07T06:09:00.000-08:00

This dog apparently "smiles" when his owner asks her to go for a walk.

The "specialists" on pet behavior will find numerous ways to dismiss this: such as a dog lacking the facial muscles to smile, & etc. Hence, they continue to be ignored by the dog lovers around the globe, as they spend their lonely weekends petting their cats.

"24" Based Japanese Prank

2010-02-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

Aside from their commercials, the Japanese are notorious for their "pranks." I use the term loosely, b/c they are hellbent on scaring the living BEJEEZUS out of innocent people.

Where are the lawsuits? Well, Japanese TV sort of encourages this behavior. Just look at the sheer JOY on the the faces of those that are watching.

Here's a prank they played during a job interview. The theme is based on a scene from "24."

Great Books & Landing Jobs

2010-01-31T04:48:00.000-08:00

Just watched Alex Bogusky & Tiffany Kosel's Fearless Q+A session on what makes a "great" book. As a student that's now in knee deep (it looks like mud, but it could be sh!t) in this game, it's one of those questions we ask over & over again, ad nauseam-to our teacher's dismay.

The "right" answer? There isn't one. There's no set formula, or a cheat code where you can use, like getting extra lives in Contra (for those who get this reference, I should get ya a drink).

It reminded me of friends who have kids. Did they have any idea what they were doing when they first began parenthood? Not really, & if they tell you otherwise, call them out. They're full of it, knee deep.

But they all reached that point, where they've finally figured out what's best for them.

As advertising students, we need to reach this point. B/c there's only so much our teachers can take.

http://alexbogusky.posterous.com/shooting-the-shit-on-fearless-with-tiffany-ko

Toilet Paper Man

2010-01-30T07:21:00.001-08:00

Just something I did for a video class I'm taking. The assignment gave us room to maneuver for 7 seconds. Pretty interesting what you can/can't do in that span.

Btw, it's hard to decipher, but what the gentlemen said was, "Drew, I hope you have toilet paper."

Disturbing Muppets' Art

2010-01-29T06:50:00.000-08:00

Why?

Billy Gibbons' Lessons on Guitar

2010-01-13T04:01:00.000-08:00

ZZ Top's guitarist, Billy Gibbons goes through the blues basics. He seems a bit gimmicky these days, but he's certainly paid his dues.

It's actually surprising that he DOES know the very basics because they've gotten TOO gimmicky. The Rolling Stones are guilty of committing the same crime.

Tokujin Yoshioka's Hermès' Window Display

2010-01-10T13:17:00.000-08:00

Tokujin Yoshioka, the renowned designer, and his recent window display for Hermès, in Ginza (in Tokyo, for you gaijin readers).

Classy, elegant, with a dash of branding.

Oh how sweet it is.

Now if only their products were actually affordable for mankind.

Eye for Talent

2010-01-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

I know a good thing when I see it. And this is GOOD.

GADGETTTTTTTT!

J Lo: She Sees Spirits

2009-12-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

Well, she sees something. Does she see dead people? She's had all those photos taken of her through the years, yet this particular photo made me want to feature her for this blog. It's that special. That mysterious.

What are the dead telling you, J.Lo? Or are they asking you why you made Gigli?

Ae you upset? Pissed? Is it your husband's hat?

There's Skittles in There

2009-12-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

I just saw The Hangover this week. I'm usually late with watching movies, and I honestly wasn't expecting much. Surprisingly, I caught myself laughing several times, which was further proof that deep down, I enjoy moronic comedy. I keep fighting the urge to admitting this to myself, otherwise known as denial. The Hangover also introduced me to the talents of Zach Galifianakis.

I think my favorite scene was the below. It was so random-and in my reign of terror, random RULES.

The character of Alan...

The Saga of Steiff: Bears for Mom

2009-12-19T20:54:00.000-08:00

My mother collects teddy bears. Cute, right? Well, she likes a particular kind of bear: Steiff. Their prices aren't cute at all.

German engineering actually extends itself to stuffed animals.

This story spans a length of 4 years. If you ever come by the our residence, be sure to ask mother if you could see her teddy bear collection.

I saw this green monstrosity staring me down on my computer screen a few years ago...

"A true collector's piece. One of the great mysteries of Steiff`s history are the four missing colored prototypes from 1908. This green bear is the first in a series of four replicas of these bears. He stands at 14 inches / 35cm tall and is a limited edition of 3000 pieces. Made from short pile mohair, he features boot-button eyes, traditional wood shaving filling and a growler."

This mysterious, German import of evil. The trap I wasn't aware of at the time was, this bear was the first in a group of four bears that were to be annually released in different colors. Of course, that left me with no other option, but to give in. We all want our mothers to be happy, no?

Meet the rest of the new additions to the Wakabayashi family.

Black. Just like the color, it's got no soul...

Pink...

And finally, the saga ended with yellow.

A Japanese Rhino Drill

2009-12-17T16:24:00.001-08:00

This is a Japanese zoo doing a "rhino escape" drill. These are the measures taken by their staff if there ever was a "Prison Break" at the zoo.

I'm no specialist, but poking a rhinoceros would appear to be counterproductive measure in calming these animals. And the exercises seem too playful in nature to take too seriously. Hopefully, there'll be available footage when the brave rhinoceros runs for its freedom one day.

I just want to see if this "drill" actually works.

It worries me b/c they are treating an escaping rhinoceros like Hello Kitty.

You would hope that a country with their history in dealing with animals would take extreme precaution.

No Gator, No Cry

2009-12-05T21:11:00.000-08:00

Tim Tebow makes great plays. He does charity work. And apparently, he also cries on national television.

Admittedly, this is a tough situation for Mr. Tebow: he's obligated to do a post-game interview. But the Gator fans have been spoiled rotten the past few years, and the martial law, of what goes around comes around, is now in effect.

The World's Tallest Model

2009-11-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, you see things, & don't know what to make of it. This is one of those moments. A part of me wishes I didn't see it...but if I'm going down, I'm taking as many of you with me as I can.

The background music makes it worse-like I'm unlocking some secret, mystery in life.

Man, that's a big ass gal.

Reason Why Dog People are Dog people

2009-11-13T19:44:00.001-08:00

Since being back in school, I've been surrounded by cats. In South Beach, stray cats are littered throughout, & I used to feed some of them that were around the apartment. Now in Chicago, I'm living in a place that has two cats-don't really mind them, & I can certainly see why some people are "cat people."

But I'll probably always be a dog person...

Canadian Club Whiskey Campaign

2009-11-06T15:22:00.001-08:00

One of the creative director's at Draft mentioned this campaign a few weeks back, & I wanted to bring it up again. Energy BBDO took this whiskey "that dad drank", & turned it around, making dads (and the whiskey) hip again.

Pretty clever-seems so simple & obvious, yet it isn't. I mean, before our father's became...well, father's, they were doing the same stupid sh!t just like us, & having a ball.

What's also cool is, they took a struggling product with declining sales, & gave it a new spin on their identity. WORD.

Homer

2009-10-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

I hate getting pictures taken. I have this thing where I don't like seeing myself, so looking into the mirror every morning is a daily annoyance. Don't necessarily hate myself or anything like that, & I'm not disfigured like some masked Phantom who plays a mean opera organ. Not yet. Maybe some day.

But I love pictures that are taken with my dogs. My family in general is bat dog crazy, & we really pamper the living snot out of these guys.

My first dog, Homer, was born on Oct. 17th in 93', & my ex-girlfriend got him for me-it all began as an inside joke. In high school, we had this ritual of sorts where the senior football players were assigned cheerleaders that form a duo of sorts, and they got us bagels & stuff before our games on Fri/Sat. What did the players do in return? Well...that's a really reasonable question. I don't know. It was definitely a one sided deal we had there.

She used to get me all this food that wouldn't be touched, b/c I never ate before games-ended up giving most of it away to the other leeches, called teammates. She would ask anyway on what I wanted, so to bust her balls a bit, I told her to "get me a puppy." I didn't think much of it b/c it was all a joke in my mind, but on that particular morning, she got me...a friggin' puppy.

It was a COLD, rainy day, & I had to take fluckin' SAT's that morning prior to kickoff. I was brain dead, & running late-an assistant coach actually ran me down just to make sure I'd show up(which is a bit ironic for those who knew me in college-maybe another separate blog). As I got to the sidelines, she came over & actually handed me a dog...like "here's your puppy."

Um, yes you did, but I still gotta play 4 quarters of high school football.

Well that puppy, a Shepherd mutt less than two months old, had to sit in a crate the entire time until the last whistle. We lost that day, & I still remember the bus ride back-we were all devastated. At the time, we "thought" it was b/c we lost...but in hindsight, we were all saddened by the cold hard fact of never being teammates again. Still remember the somber ride in the yellow bus, but with that puppy sitting in my lap, freezing his ass off. Lightening our mood, or what was left of it. And he did, ever so graciously.

The first thing he did when he entered my house? Walk over to the kitchen tile, and take the longest piss I've ever seen from any animal. And for the next 13 years, he lightened many moods. He greeted me every time I walked through that door. Every time, as if his life depended on it. The dude waited, and waited, until I finally came home. Ever so graciously.

And now...I'm the one doing the waiting. I wait, wait, & wait. Expecting a greeting that won't come, from a dog no longer here.

They say time eventually relieves us, & to an extent, they're right. But time can also be a real BITCH. His death isn't as intense as it was years ago, but neither are the memories. Sometimes, I need to regain that intensity back. It's fading, & I hate myself when that happens-and that's when I look at those pictures, & tolerate myself in them.

Some things should never fade away. Happy birthday, Homer. Wherever you are, long may you run.

As I continue to wait.

Graciously? No.

Gratefully.

How to Hit Properly in Football

2009-10-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

I played football for 16 years. No, not futbol. Football, as in American. Always loved it as a kid, & played from 1st grade up until college graduation. So I know the dangers of the game, & the clip below is one of the things my coaches HAMMERED into our heads. Over & over.

NEVER, NEVER tackle with your head down, just like that kid probably learned. From the looks of it, he looks to be fine, judging from his crying. When you're SERIOUSLY hurt from a hit to the head like that, there's no crying. No wail. Everyone on/off the field hold their breath, & just wait, praying for the kid to get up on his own two feet.

There's a certain level of physical domination you want to exert when you're on the field, & that goes for any sport. You want to let'em know you're there. But not at the expense of the worst case scenario.

Kids & adults in football, Americana: be safe, & bless.

An Acoustic Intervention

2009-10-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

Been on an acoustic kick this weekend.

Saw Rodrigo y Gabriela on a late night talk show a few months ago, so I decided to check them out. This is a gumbo of their Mexican heritage, with a healthy dose of metal: what an odd combo, but they definitely take this somewhere. Like anything great, the sum is always greater than the parts, but I'm really fascinated with the rhythm player, Gabriela Quintero. Not just b/c she's a female who happens to deliver with a six string in spades (although that NEVER hurts), but she's keeping the fort down in a REALLY complex manner.

Here's a cover of Metallica's "Orion" & their original nod to Hendrix, "Buster Voodoo."

Erik Mongrain was introduced me through the social media king known as facebook. These are the reasons why people need to keep up with social media. Just sift through the shit, & look for the potential diamonds. My musical snobness will come out here (and it's MY blog, so shove it), but right now, I find Rodrigo y Gabriela's music to be much more "catchy" than Mongrain's (I'm a real sucker for melody). But his "Air Tap" below is friggin' REAL pretty, man.

And I came across Emily Elbert on youtube. Don't know much about her, or how old she is, but she does a medley here of Whipping Post>Manic Depression>Whipping Post, which takes GUTS. But I liked it. She's got a pretty good groove goin' on here, and she sings pretty damn good. Hope she makes some noise in the upcoming years.

Jameson TV Spot

2009-10-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Jameson is a brand close to my heart: it's one of the first whiskeys to reveal to me that the Irish truly saved our civilization. As a Japanese American...domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. I WISH the Japanese were as innovative as this.

Here's a pretty funny TV spot from theirs I found through...their facebook page. Hey brands, get on the bandwagon with social media!

Tattoo PSA Spot

2009-09-06T04:19:00.001-07:00

This PSA Child Abuse spot was a concept I did with one of my classmates for a script writing class. It was finally completed, & I was able to get a copy of it. Many thanks to Sabrina & Gabriel for the opportunity.

Tattoos read: You are a mistake/ Shut up/ & etc.

The line says: Whatever You Say to Your Child, Remains Forever.

Holding a Newborn

2009-08-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

This is yours truly, holding my friend's kid, Haleigh. Welcome to the world, Haleigh. You're going to be in for one heck of a ride.

If she ever asks me what her father was like when we were growing up, I will smile at her. I will tell her that her daddy loves her very much, & completely side step the question.

Much love & happiness to Haleigh, her mother, & pop.

JK Divorce Dance

2009-08-16T05:14:00.001-07:00

Figures spoofs like this come about after the wedding dance phenomenon, but something about this struck a chord. Imagine people kept their sense of humor during a divorce?

"Hey, sometimes, things just don't work out. I'll see you in court, but let's have some FUN!"

"Sorry I slept with your sister. But it still means... we're all a family!"

"I'm taking half your stuff...but let's dance. No hard feelings!"

Look at the happiness in that courtroom. The happiness of divorce. It ain't the end of the world.

It's a new beginning.

Ninja's Back...We Must All Rejoice.

2009-08-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

Felt like I had to write something here. It's been fluckin' months since I did anything here. I mean, the King of Pop DIED since my last blog. Farrah's no mo'. I've even started a second blog. Now, I'm stretched thin...like our military.

Currently in San Francisco, & enjoying the ride. School's been cool: not any better or worse than Miami, but the weather here is more to my liking. The teachers have been quite entertaining, & hoping to stay here for a few more months if everything works out. Do miss some of the compadres that are elsewhere though. Hope they aren't getting beaten up by the agency bullies...

Trolley. I'm the most unlikely Japanese tourist ever. No portable/digital camera, fanny pack, or heavy accented English.

There's been one, glaring, downside being in CA. Been brainstorming like an A-hole since I've been on the West Coast. No excuses. I should be sent to North Korea for some of the concepts I've done, & forced to make out with the Octo Mom. If any of you run into me, permission is granted to call me THE copywriting hack, & punch me in the neck.

Then later, we can go for some drinks.

Pickle Surprise...Why Would People Watch This?

2009-08-12T03:52:00.000-07:00

I watched the below disaster the other day. Watching this was making me ANGRY, & figured I'd post it here. If I'm feeling down, I'm taking as many of you with me. That's the kind of friend I am. Ha Ha Ha (in my evil character laugh).

Why did I watch this? No, I did not do a search on youtube for "f#cked up sh!t with a pickle." Believe it or not, this thing has over 182,000hits on the 'tube. We've been doing studies on social media & viral videos, & you just never know what people decide to watch, & pass along to their friends.

MAS Cheese/Friends as Parents

2009-05-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

Need some extra cheese with your burger? Or maybe some added cheese over your next Cesar's salad? Then watch this video, b/c there is too much fermentation going on in this musical, video platter-it's my own MAS promotional video done for a script writing class.

Watching this gave me chills, due to the sentimental sappiness. The music I selected makes it much, much, worse. Didn't know I had it in me. Reading the VO (done by moi) took a few takes, as I busted out laughing repeatedly. The video was edited using animoto-very, very, convenient, & easy to use. If a technological, neanderthal such as myself can do this, ANYBODY can. But please use the amount of "cheese" with discretion-there's only so much Backstreet Boys the world can take. Check out their site (www.animoto.com). Highly recommended.

Speaking of the future, my friend Tom should be a new daddy-o anyday now. I've known this guy since the first grade, & we've been friends for nearly 27 years. Long, long, time. Next time I see this dork, he's going to be in charge of a brand new, human being! Look forward to new pics of this blogger holding a baby in the upcoming weeks. Exciting, ain't it? Well, maybe not for my mother, who would probably ask why my brothers & I haven't blessed her with a grandchild.

"Just marry anybody. ANYBODY."

I may take her up on this challenge, & bring home a cyclops.

"Mom, meet One Eye Sherry."

Seeing friends become parents? Quite a sight. You've seen them in & out of their element, in situations ranging from the good, the bad, & the ugly. Like getting a key lime pie smashed into their face. And yet, they keep chugging along in life, & are now about to welcome a kid into the world.

Although I won't be there, per say, I'm still allowed to be a part of it. Just like the past 27 years, & counting.

It's humbling, & I am grateful.

Bach Melodies & Stuff

2009-05-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

Robert Downey Jr.'s most recent movie, The Soloist, features a prelude of Bach: cello suite No. 1. My father is a huge classical fan, & I vividly remember him listening to this in the car, while driving me to football practice as a kid.

It's funny how you remember these things subconsciously.

And here's another familiar, Bach melody (a wedding staple). And no, that guitarist isn't me.

I do wonder what Bach was thinking (and especially feeling) when he wrote these pieces. Love? Peace? Family? God? Maybe the breakfast he had that particular day? Either way, this has become a wedding anthem during services, along with Ave Maria.

Also, I've always been a sucker of Gustav Klimt's work. I really, really, really like the way he portrays women. Like to the right, where it's a simple embrace, & a "kiss". If you notice, we don't get to see the dude's face. Klimt figured out early on that the male specie is not a pleasant sight to look at. My man, if you were still alive, I'd give you an "amen".

But back to the thinking, & especially the "feeling". What was Klimt feeling when he decided on the concept for "The Kiss"? What inspired it? Who? He must have seen women in such a graceful, dream like, perspective.

Of course, there's also the other side of the coin. For each person that was inspired in ways such as Bach & Klimt, there's also an Axel Rose:

Happy Memorial Day, everybody. Now, back to work.

Best,

Nobu

Quick Blog

2009-05-18T22:56:00.000-07:00

This'll be quick, due to the fact I'm playing major catch up in school work. Don't know what's been up, but my immune system has been getting battered the past month. I've felt ill every other week, & I'm currently sweating off what seems like a fever.

Anyway, screw talking about my current physical condition-it's boring, although I do need some attention & sympathy. Hugs & kisses are always welcome, but I won't guarantee your safety. All that is guaranteed: I'll give you the love, right back. WTF am I talking about?

Let's get to more interesting stuff. This Heineken commercial has been playing often lately, & I friggin' love it. My last blog was about how music can be a powerful tool for advertising, & somebody awesome at Wieden+Kennedy came up with this gem using Biz Markie.

Lots of FUN. Man, this song hit when I was in junior high school!

Also, props to some guys from MAS Miami who produced the video for Oxfam GB as part of the YouTube Cannes Young Lions Ad Contest. Liked it.

And here's another from MAS Miami. It's certainly something I won't....forget anytime soon.

Just a few shoutouts for a few of the classmates-great, great, job, guys. There's many more for the competition on youtube from our school. Please check them out.

Also, this town needs to stop ID'ing me. I'm old enough to be their uncles, yet I've been ID'd about 5-7 times in the past two months. One gal, after looking at my license, told me I look mid-twenties.

Then why are you ID'ing me?

Ads & Music

2009-05-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

While searching for PSA TV spot examples, I came across the below clip. The campaign is trying to raise awareness re: domestic hunger.

The song is Tom Waits' "Never Let Go", which can be found on the album: Orphans. It's a collection of unreleased songs that were left on the side. Like many great songwriters, Waits has gems that are left collecting dust, although some of them are as good as anything he's ever done. I thought it was cool that, whoever worked on this spot basically unearthed this tune(which is relatively obscure), & forged ahead with it-trusting their gut instincts, as well as the power in the music.

I love when creatives use music as an additional tool-it can generate mood, & set tones that wouldn't be available otherwise.

This Halo 3 spot(which I'm sure some of you have seen) blew me away-to use a plastic, diorama model with Chopin is just sick. Tragic, expressive, & yearning for home. Chopin & Halo. Great, great, stuff.

This Volkswagon spot for Cabrio used a simple, human truth (how many of us have left a party like that?) with Nick Drake. Again, the selection of "Pink Moon" showed great taste-and introduced him to a much wider audience that certainly eluded him during his life. And although advertising is all about "selling out", the commercial captured some of the mysterious essence that was Drake. Very cool.

Dan Brown-Modern Day Revolutionary?

2009-05-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

Dan Brown has another novel on the way featuring Robert Langdon later this year: The Lost Symbol, which follows up his previous adventure from the DaVinci Code.

Obviously, that book became a worldwide bestseller, which led to a so so motion picture(IMHO) featuring our beloved Bosom Buddy, Tom Hanks, in the feature role. It'll generate more $$ when Angels & Demons is released on May 15th.

I'm not plugging the book, movie, or Dan Brown here. Get no compensation-if I did, that's all I'd talk about. I am also not a Christian-middle ground, here. I find his novels to be entertaining to a certain degree, & the overall story is interesting. Think there are much better authors out there in the mystery/suspense genre. What fascinated me more was the response to The DaVinci Code: how could a work of FICTION (note the capitals!) generate so much buzz regarding Christianity, & have countless people question the Gospels, Mary Magdalene, & the historical Jesus? And how could a work of FICTION upset so many? Brown has taken liberties on morphing many of these stories to fit within his MADE UP story. It's entertainment. Or at least it was supposed to be.

Guys often need a great woman by their side, & the Son of God was no exception according to Brown's FICTION novel(notice the capitals).

Anybody remember this show?

But does it really take a blockbuster work of FICTION for people to ask how the Bible came to be, as well as finally figure out there were other gospels written that were not acceptable as canonical? Apparently so. It takes a little more than discovering something significant such as The Dead Sea Scrolls, or the Gnostic documents.

It's important for us to realize how things came to be historically, but unfortunately, surviving documents only give us a small window on the actual events. Usually, the WINNERS win out in the game of history, as their perspectives mostly stand the test of time. Most of the Gnostics, as well as their writings LOST this fight. They would be long forgotten if it weren't for a few scribes(assuming here) that stashed them away.

And it was Brown's novels that generated this "buzz". Wild, right? A made up story, with this Robert Langdon guy, has millions upon millions doing some research on their own. So claiming him as a "revolutionary" may be too strong of a word......but he did cause a ripple in the waters, & depending on who you talk to, some of it was significant.

I'm curious to see what's going to happen once Angels & Demons is released, as well as The Lost Symbol. Should be interesting. At the very least, I hope the movie & the book ENTERTAIN ME. That's all I ask for: whether it takes others on a religious Odyssey is totally up to them. Unfortunately, it should get certain folks all riled up again over a made up book.

Speaking of DaVinci, I've seen "The Last Supper" in person(as well as the Mona Lisa, but Supper was more "profound" in my view). Upon first impression, what catches the eye is the sheer SIZE of the piece. It's enormous. The second impression was the poor, overall state of the painting. The third ,was that, it's a fine piece of art.

The final impression? They named a Ninja Turtle after the artist.

Remakes in Movies/Music

2009-05-01T02:44:00.000-07:00

Doing remakes & covers is nothing new in movies/music, but sometimes, you get the vibe certain things should remain untouched. Let it sit, and age gracefully, OR, do it right.

But what is ...."right"?

There was a certain aura of seeing a real, living, person playing the role of the green freak (props to Lou Ferrigno). And who can forget the beloved opening/closing credits, where a lonely Dr. Banner hitchhikes to his next adventure, where somebody will royally piss him off again? Sooner or later, we all have to realize that Banner is one dude you don't f#ck with. Don't make him angry. I mean, he's always warning us, right?

In the past few years, they've decided to CGI the hell out of movies, & turned up with the below:

In my humble (but usually terribly off the mark, or right on the money) opinion, something gets really lost here. It's sort of missing the core of the story, or the original themes that made it intriguing in the first place-by replacing it with special effects. This should be used as a tool for ENHANCING the experience, but too many flicks seem to be overemphasizing these gimmicks. Blowing sh!t up, & making things look cool can only go so far.

Which Dr. Banner do we FEEL for? The original TV series, or the one from the movie?

On the opposite spectrum, musically, the below is one of my favorite covers. Hendrix took Dylan's biggest hit, & put his own spin on it.

Some of you may think it sucks, or it's just dated. But at the time, he took a song that was released in '65, & did this cover two years later at the '67 Monterey Pop Festival. What was cool for me hearing/seeing this was, he incorporated a different musical style/element into his own, & fused it into something else. Artists like Hendrix were always a few steps ahead of what was going on- even today, although the man has been dead for nearly 30 years.

So what's the point of all this babble? Shut the f&ck up already, right? Well, I've been feeling this way towards advertising as well. We've had a huge emphasis on how advertising is changing into an interactive concept, & how we can all sense the big changes up ahead. Well, it's certainly here already, but like an odor, does it smell good, or like sh!t? Some companies are making it smell like a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, right out of the oven. The others remind me of a bathroom in a dive bar.

Brands want to incorporate social media, augmented reality, iPhone apps, & etc. But similar to the special effects on the Hulk remake... I would hate it if we're missing the mark when we use the new tools & technology. For example, if we're going to use Twitter, it has to be done "right", & not for the sake of just doing it b/c everybody is doing it.

We're all trying to keep up with the technological freight train, but some things should remain consistent: the original SPIRIT, or CORE of the brand. Why do consumers buy, or prefer a specific brand? What is unique about it? We had Rebecca Renner, from AKQA, as a guest speaker a few weeks ago, & she said we need to "make the media fit the idea, & not the other way around."

That's right, I take f^cking notes! Like a slap from an ex-girlfriend, this hit me a few hours ago-it should've reached my, slow response, noggin' when Rebecca gave her speech.

Obviously, it's easier said than done, but we need to be like Hendrix(but not dead at 27) when incorporating things, rather than the remakes of Hulk.

Japanese TV/Commercials

2009-04-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Haven't been writing here in a bit-so I apologize to my imaginary friends out there who find my blogs interesting. Maybe entertaining? Or maybe it even turns you on..... that's just sick.

As I ponder over which destination to go next after Miami, I checked out a few Japanese commercials over the tube. I'd really like to make a trip out to the Land of the Rising Sun, & intern/school there for advertising, but have too see what's even possible.... do have family there, & it'd be a good crash course for my Japanese too. See, I'm fluent in Japanese, but when I think in my head, it's all in English. Japanese is my second language.

My folks are devout Japanese television viewers-that's all they watch. Although I don't watch much of it, TV in Japan is SO out there....& bizarre for a guy like me used to US programming. I'm sure some of you have seen Japanese game shows/commercials. One: You have to wonder how they even concept something like this. Two: How do they get away with it? But on the flip side, I find their acting in TV/movies to be TERRIBLE.

Check out the Fanta commercials below-these were full blown TV campaigns. If you can't follow the story (which is understandable), the students are getting new teachers at their school, & by the end of the commercial, drink Fanta, as they are visibly frustrated by class. Also, when it's translated as "third grade", they are actually high school seniors. The numbering system for schools are different.

How do you concept for something like this? The brief? It's hard to imagine the client being like......"What? Teachers that are DJ's, or act as samurais? Awesome!" One thing I noticed about some of these were, whether it makes sense or not, they DO leave an impression. And there's an underlying theme that's FUN about it.

Japanese shows also do MANY prank jokes-it's at the core of their humor. This would NEVER pass in the States due to the number of lawsuits that it would collect. But you have to admit, that this is FUNNY sh!t.

Account Planning Boot in Miami Ad School 2009

2009-04-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

Still gathering my thoughts about the beloved account planning experience. What? You don't give a sh!t? Oh, don't be so negative, hear me out..... It sounds cliché, but in hindsight, that class probably did much more good for us than I initially gave it credit-too much of a cynic, this guy. Still creatively scarred, slurring my speech, & even more challenged in brainstorming.

These traits may have been present prior to the annual event, but don't hate. Appreciate.

The catch is, you would never have those pleasant, sunny thoughts with rainbows and sh!t while you go through it. It wasn't like we all gathered 'round the campfire, & sang kumbaya with each other while holding hands. If we held hands, it was probably with the intention of breaking bones. We would burn briefs & comps in the campfire. If we were in the woods, it may have turned into something like The Lord of the Flies.

By the middle of it, I thought they called it a "boot camp" b/c I felt like I had a pair of Doc Martins shoved all the way up into my intestines. Not that I know how that would feel like-I'm sure it's pretty painful. Just being dramatic.

The school may want to look into a way of relieving the stress levels specifically for that class in the future. Maybe have an open bar or something during class-a few Martini's, a round of shots for everyone...the Nerf stuff can only do so much. It doesn't numb the pain. Maybe we could all gamble or something-play cards, or have a roulette table.

While in school today, I saw the pictures of our recent graduates-most of them, if not all, were in that account planning class. I looked over each & every one of them (I swear-Sachi can attest to this), & thought about everything that happened during those three months. I also looked at the pictures of the other creatives that are now off to their new locations (although I have to admit, I skipped right over Julio's picture-there's this vibe like he never left Miami. He's still here in spirit).

All those people, in that HUMID classroom, giving presentations on Red Mango, Mountain Dew, & other products that made us moan. What's the brief this week? Vitamin Shoppe. Great, can I throw up in my mouth? Arguing over which teams presented first, second, or third. Did you see their presentation? Oh...my....Gawd. It's not hitting the target audience. Well.... how about I target your face, & shoot Nerf darts at it? Red Mango, Nerf darts that go viral, that can be bought in vending machines.

But there was something about the entire madness, wasn't there? A Synchronicity of sorts. Sentimental cheese needs to be tasted when all is said & done to be truly appreciated. Hindsight is the biggest, baddest, bitch of them all-and what a cruel bitch she can be.

Don't hate. Appreciate.

Until we cross paths again, planners & creatives from 2009 MAS Boot-hope you guys are closer to your dreams. Cheers.

Later,

Nobu

The Godfather

2009-04-05T22:05:00.000-07:00

Just a cool clip of James Brown doin' his thang. The Godfather was one hell of an athlete, & love how casually he does all this.

Good Gawd!

Moms

2009-04-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

Just got back to Miami Beach-my last three months here, unless something goes terribly wrong. Hey, you never know.

Anyway, I call home to let my mother know I got back in one piece, after Continental conveniently delayed my flight for an hour. What followed in our brief conversation was as below...

*note-the below has been translated from Japanese as best as possible by yours truly. This blogger can speak Japanese? PURE WIN.

"Mom, I just got back to my apartment."

"Why didn't you do those pots I asked you to do all week?"

"......pots. As in, what?"

"The pots for my plants. I have to plant new flowers for the spring, and you never replaced the dirt like I asked you."

--Sound effects of mom in agony, as well as utter disappointment--

"......I guess I just forgot about them.....because, you know...... they weren't that high on my list of PRIORTIES while I was home. Flowers for pots? You have to be kidding me....by the way, my flight went swell, just in case you were wondering."

This went on for about another minute or two. The thing is, these flowers are so unimportant to me, I just put the entire dirt relocation project aside during the break. My mother would ask, then forget. A few days pass, & then she would repeat the process.

It's getting tougher talking to the 'rents about stuff-due to the fact they only discuss matters within their own world as they get older, & I guess the same goes for me. Pots in plants? Goodness gracious (in my best Suzyn Waldman voice when Clemens was spotted in Yankee Stadium).

My father told me my older brother will be home next week-the dirt relocation project will now be burdened upon his shoulders.

It's Sunday, & It Calls for Some Bill Evans

2009-03-29T12:20:00.001-07:00

Rainy Sunday in New Jersey. On days like this, I like to listen to moody music(not people). Nice to know there is recorded footage of Bill Evans, & this seemed like a good choice. Been REALLY into Evans the past few years.

For those of you that aren't familiar with Evans, don't let him fool ya. Although he looks clean cut, this man was a full blown heroin addict, with numerous problems. His music did not reflect the turbulence that was his life.

By the way, I am on blogging FIRE, folks. Three blogs within hours of each other. Some of you guys must be thinking, big f#cking deal, right?

But this is a classic case of me being totally amused by myself.

Peace,

Nobu

The Knot

2009-03-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

During my break from school, I met up with an ol' buddy who works in the liquor industry, so to speak. We go way back, & he asked me if I had ever tried "The Knot". After an awkward pause, I thought he was referring to the OTHER knot. As in balloons. Our conversation followed as below, with me replying:

".......listen man, it's cool to hear you're hooking up with chicks-awesome. Don't need to hear the details though. What you do in those moments..."

"No, you sick bastard. It's whiskey."

---AWKWARD PAUSE PART DEUX---

"........well, then I am willing to try it. Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"

" I did. Like I said.... SICK bastard."

And like I SAID, we go way back.

Anyway, it's a whiskey, but it isn't. Confused? It's like a fusion (hate that word, but too lazy to come up with anything else) between whiskey & liquor. It's much friendlier than Jameson or Bush Mills.

It's pretty good, & they have some advertising spots for it, featuring what looks like an Irish man named.... "Mickey". Surprise, surprise.

This is as predictable as me selling spicy tuna rolls.

When a Fan Can't be a Fan No 'Mo...

2009-03-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

A few months ago in the NFL playoffs, I was delighted to see the G-Men being taken down by the Eagles in the playoffs-but not due to me being a die hard Iggles' fan. That would be preposterous, & if that day ever comes, I should be terminated. I was delighted b/c I completely despise the New York Giants. During my childhood, before I was tainted into the tragedy of today, I had to endure Phil Simms, puberty, Joe Morris, Mark Bavaro, Harry Carson, white kids as a newbie immigrant, Carl Banks, & the infamous Lettuce & Tomato-Lawrence Taylor. I also did go through an Alyssa Milano phase, but that's a totally different matter.

I don't know what it was about the Giants back then-maybe it was seeing every other kid rooting for these guys while Bill Parcells led them to two trophies. Maybe I felt bad for the suffrage of Jets fans. Or maybe it was due to the fact my family consisted mostly of Cowboys fans (due to living in Dallas for a bit). All I know is, I didn't like them then, and I definitely don't like them now....which is unfortunate in a way, b/c they have a few players I like today.

Anyway, I was basking in the moment of seeing the G-Men go down, when a sensitive G-Men fan/friend called me out. He said he hates people like me, who have no teams to root for. While I sensed he was trying to take the loss out on me b/c the Giants suck testicles, I decided to play that game, & see if I could explain myself, & why I am the way.... I am.

See, as a child, I was a Raider fan. I still remember Super Bowl XVIII, when Marcus Allen ran all over the Redskins. Rod Martin. Ted "Mad Stork" Hendricks. Lyle Alzado. Howie Long. Lester Hayes. Mike Haynes. Todd Christensen. When the silver & black still meant something.

Then somewhere along the way, old man, Al Davis went batty. He lost his mind. He let go of Marcus Allen(!). Wasted away number 1 draft picks, one by one. Piece by piece. Have you seen what this guy has been doing the past 10 years or so? Lane Kiffin's firing? He has become the Kim Jong Il of the NFL. By the way, do these two share the same fashion designers? Man, they are some REALLY creepy, old men.

How can I.... root for a franchise such as this, when the product is consistently this BAD? This isn't about being a "fair weather fan". This is one man single handedly destroying any hopes and dreams. It's one thing to stick with your "team" through tough times, but this is RIDICULOUS. As fans, we deserve at least an effort from franchises. (edit: after re-reading this portion, it's hard to tell if this was a plea from a Raider fan, or a citizen of North Korea)

One time not so long ago, a friend's mother discovered....my team. She disgustedly looked at me, & I sensed the pity she had for me.

"You're a Raider fan?"

I felt so ashamed. Like a dog.

Lincoln Does Dew

2009-03-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

Coinciding with Lincoln's 200th birthday this year in Feb., Mountain Dew has also joined in on the celebration with their Diet Dew commercials. My copy teacher mentioned this a few weeks back, & it's pretty funny...well, it goes along with what I consider to be "funny". Now that's a kick arse President-imagine him giving a headlock to the people in Congress? Slamming a chair into Palin? And no, I don't condone violence. It's wrestling. Fake.

On a serious note, there is a plethora(thanks El Guapo) of books being published right now regarding Lincoln, & some of them are worth checking out. He's still controversial in many aspects today, but one thing that really struck me about him was how well written/versed he was. Our recent Presidents & their Ivy League diplomas can only DREAM to write/speak like that.

Man....what the hell happened to our Presidents?

Just look at what people like Lincoln & our Founding Fathers confronted, & the decisions they made. It's depressing.

Sheryl Crow Cover is Actually.... Pretty Good?

2009-03-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

Who would've thought Sheryl Crow would cover a Blind Faith classic, & make it sound pretty cool? She sat in with the Allman Brothers on their annual Beacon Theater run on the 17th, & did "Can't Find My Way Home". Considering Eric Clapton sat in with the band a few days later, I guess they were just warming up on some tunes he had been a part of in the past.

I'm sure we've all been there. Trying to get out of the bar, pay the tab, say good bye to all your friends (and also people you call "friends", but hate with a passion), catch a cab, & get back to your apartment in one piece-and not remembering a single f#cking thing the next morning on how you made it back. Play this song, & give it a listen. Again, we've all been there.

Great, great, tune. And props to Ms. Crow on the cover. I'm still not a fan, but you may be entering the "tolerable" category.

Classic Comedy Movie Character

2009-03-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

Had forgotten what a classic The Three Amigos was. El Guapo has to be one of the best comedy villains ever.

School is Done...for a Few Weeks

2009-03-16T15:13:00.000-07:00

I finally wrapped up the last week of school a few days ago, & it was more chaotic than I could have ever imagined. I had several students that are a quarter ahead telling me how busy it would get, but to experience it firsthand was another matter. Haven't been busy like that since working for money, but at least you eventually get PAID then. Money is a serious motivational tool, & you have to really dig in to do that kind of work without the paycheck. The only other thing that would be that motivational is sex. Gawd, are we humans simple minded or what?

But it wasn't in vain, as I learned QUITE a bit. And not specifically in the way I thought it'd play out. I'll save that one for the next blog.

Met some cool folks along the way that will now be going all over the place to continue their education. NYC. Amsterdam. Hamburg. San Fran. The school is networked at these various locations, so it's pretty convenient-and you know what? After a year of South Beach, Florida, it's TIME to leave. I certainly get that feeling quite often, & I still have three more months to go down here. Kill me, or at the very least, punch me in the balls. Right now, I feel like I am getting beheaded with a dull guillotine that couldn't cut through a stick of butter.

It's sad to see many of them go, but that is life, isn't it? It's friggin' filled with hello's & good bye's, but that's what facebook is for. To catch up, & see who they married, who got fat, & etc. Just didn't think that kind of vibe would be felt again at my age, but going back to school after all these years can do that to you.

And it's great to know there are still so many people out there to meet and greet-hopefully, many of us will cross again later on down the road. We'll talk behind people's backs again, and laugh. Then I'll leave you with the bill at the bar, & mysteriously disappear....

So bon voyage, you creative mother 'effers. Go explore, create, & talk the consumers of the world into purchasing the most useless sh!t in the marketplace. It's your job. Your obligation. It's your..... ah sh!t, I can't even come up with a third example, breaking the copywriting code: the "rule of three".

Somewhere in the darkness, I can see my copywriting teachers sigh in disbelief.

Best,

Nobu-the Blogging Ninja

First Blog, Slight Return

2009-02-21T14:29:00.000-08:00

Hey. You. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

I decided to redo my first blog ever, due to the fact I was lit up like a tree when writing it. Had a few martinis, & after re-reading it the next morning, it made me sound like a mix between Nick Nolte & Mel Gibson when they were taken in for questioning. I'm glad I deleted it-made A-Rod look sincere, which is quite an accomplishment these days. Might as well make the first one a bit more formal, rather than complaining about the personal, fecal matters of my life.

So why blog now, after blowing it off for all this time? Well, one of my copywriting teachers recommended it (a shout to Mr. Levy)-an opportunity for people to see another side of you, and an awesome excuse for writing practice. Plus, it may prove to be therapeutic in some way, & save me some cash from those damn martinis.

So stick around, pick your scabs, your butt, mosquito bites, & whatever else that may itch. I will leave this initial blog with a quote from Robert Francis Kennedy: “Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and to make gentle the life of the world."

Rock on people, in whatever you/we do.